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Javier Urra, psychologist and author of the book Strengthen your child. Guide to face the adversities of life He explains to us how we can cultivate the will of children and flee from the current trend in society based on the overprotection of parents towards their children.
Teaching children the value of effort and perseverance is the key to forming responsible adults. The psychologist Javier Urra explains to us how we can cultivate the will of the children.
How can we stimulate the effort of children, now that we do almost everything for them?
For kids to know that muscle will is important and to know that effort is important, it is essential that they see it in adults. To lead by example, first of all, it is good to set yourself challenges: a bicycle tour, climbing a mountain, participating in a race ... they make you prove yourself that you have capacity, discipline and that everything in life requires effort .
Second, we must teach our children to be critical of some false advertising messages such as "learn German in three months without effort", false.
How can we teach children that nothing is achieved in life without effort?
Parents are overprotective of our children. We are creating a cottony society, which is very harmful in the end for the kid, because in the long run he will have to face reality. Life is effort, life is a dilemma, life is going to slap you many times and it is going to slap you.
We are vulnerable, but we are capable of rising again and that requires knowing ourselves, strengthening ourselves and putting a sense of humor in life, relativizing problems and looking at the stars from time to time and wondering what one is doing here, and what I am about. doing, what is important.
What can children ask of life?
You have to ask life for what life can give, not more. And happiness should not be confused with pleasure, which are two different concepts. If we could imagine writing our epitaph, what could we? Would you like to be like a yogurt and have an expiration date?
To avoid wasting time in life, you have to be a free person and for that you have to be responsible. Be happy, share it and enjoy every moment.
How can we motivate children to strive for their future?
We are in a complex society and this education to motivate in the effort is not easy. Before, in my time, you joined a couple and you spent your whole life with them. Now the separation processes are numerous.
Today we can ask a child: what do you want to be recognized or famous for? Being applauded socially or going to bed being consistent with yourself? I find it interestingmotivate, as far as possible, in the vocation, which is something elusive, but which gives a reason for being to a life and a person.
What alternatives can we offer children against boredom?
Doing things yourself by making bread at home one day or making a wardrobe ... offers children the opportunity to know how it feels when they have made something with their own hands. Things are not here and now, but deferred in time. Motivating means teaching to learn, to enrich oneself and to ask oneself.
There is nothing more ridiculous to say, I'm bored! with the capacity that we all have for nostalgia, imagination, creativity and alternative thinking, but that must be shown to children during the day.
What advice would you give parents to raise strong children?
To raise strong children, I would tell parents not to miss out on the first months, the first years of their child's life. It is important to educate them in responsibility, so that children assume the consequences of their actions.
Thus, if a child breaks a vase and recognizes that he has done it, even if he knows that he will be sanctioned, that is to be strong. Being strong means knowing how to deal with the situation when one day your friends stop talking to you or we are going to change our home and we have to adapt to the new neighbors.
How can we teach children to adapt to changes?
Children must be taught to be flexible. Today we meet many young who are like glass, hard, but fragile and we need them to be like a rubber ball, which you throw against the ground, it deforms, but then when it rises it returns to its being. The idea of adaptation, of flexibility is really essential and constitutes a good basis for educating children.
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