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Have you ever noticed that your child stops doing things because he feels withdrawn, and surely also, that more than once you would have liked to help him and have not known how to do it. And it is that, as you well know, as parents, we are the role model for our children and if they do not know how to face a situation, perhaps it is because they have not seen us face it.
We explain something that should make you think: of insecure parents, withdrawn children. Therefore, you must take care of and heal your 'insecurities'. We explain how to do it.
Do not think that you are a strange person for experiencing insecurity, I already anticipate that we are all insecure, in one issue or another, the good thing is to train insecurity to get to achieve what we propose and above all, not to have our limited life.
First, and before you start, with the things you can do to feel more confident and make your child feel more assertive, is to become an observer. Think of that person who can be your best example of security (a father, friend, co-worker, grandfather…); And when you feel that insecure situation, ask yourself what that person would say to you at that moment.
Obviously, from there, you will be the observer of reality, and you may realize that solving it is easier than you think. For example, if our son feels nervous about an exam, ask him what the grandfather would say, in that situation, or that person who serves as a role model.
With this simple change of perspective, you start to see things differently. Although you can also remember the power of questions and therefore, you can ask yourself: What is the worst that can come out of this situation? o What is the best I can get out of this situation? The answers will give you a better perspective on the real situation.
Here are some things you can do:
1. Write down your fears. Take a notebook and write down all the fears you have about facing this new situation. How you feel, what thoughts you have, what behaviors you are having ... and above all, remind or remind your child that it is natural to feel this way.
2. Talk to your child. If you are not a writer, you can also have a conversation with your child to talk about everything (feelings, thoughts, fears, sensations, behaviors ...), and help him focus on what is truly good about the situation, which is, come out as come out, he will be facing her and himself.
3. Share your experiences. I also recommend talking about all the things that have been done and have been a success, despite having that feeling of insecurity. For example, the start of classes after the summer or the beginning of extracurricular classes. Or also when he learned to ride a bike or any inclined in any other sport. Write down the more, the better and keep this achievement diary within reach, to be writing down everything that arises throughout the months.
4. Remember them positive qualities. Reminding our children of their positive qualities and strengths will also decrease insecurity, because we change the focus. It's not all anymore, "I can't" or "I'm not capable", now your attention will be on "even though I am insecure, I know that I have succeeded in other situations.
5. Use motivational phrases. Use motivational phrases, the days before the situation of insecurity that you have to face. Take the opportunity to work on your self-esteem and positive internal dialogue. "With the support of the family I can face any situation" or "I am brave to meet new challenges" or "I am ready to achieve what I propose".
The most important of all this is to be the model that your child can follow, with which, before working it with him or her, work it with you and you will no longer have to teach him anything.
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