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The theme of children's right to privacy when they reach adolescence it is often difficult for many parents. Some are convinced that just because they are their parents and always have the best intentions for them, it is fully justified to go beyond the limits that, without a doubt, they would respect if it were any other person.
However, the privacy of teenage children is just that: private. We explain to you which frontier of your child's privacy is (or should be) unbreakable. Here is a list with the actions of parents that violate the privacy of adolescent children.
These are some of the actions that violate the privacy of our teenagers when they are at home:
- Enter the bathroom when they are showering
- Enter your room without knocking on the door
From the age of 9 or 10 we can observe that our children they begin to require privacy and it is necessary to make them feel that they have it at home, it is part of growing up and that is how we must accept it and welcome this new stage.
For those parents who find it distressing that their children are locked up for a long time, you can ask them not to lock the door at night, and commit to knocking on the door and entering when they allow it. Many times, it turns out to be a good deal.
On the other hand, taking into account the dangers that bad friendships and social networks pose for children, some parents feel they have the right to:
- Check your backpack or your pockets
- Check your drawers
- Spy on your phones or your computer your conversations and private interactions on social networks
- Force them to show them their phone and their conversations every so often
- Require the passwords of their social networks
There is a lot of discussion about whether or not these 'monitoring' actions are valid.
First of all, having to go to these extremes to know what steps our children are on, It is a sign that our relationship with them does not flow as it should and it is time to make the necessary adjustments.
Probably many think that the dangers not only depend on the children, but on the people with whom they can get involved, on the dangers that are "outside" and from which only their parents through espionage can save them.
So how can we avoid feeling the need to go beyond our children's privacy to protect them ?:
1. Improve communication
Have a good communication with them from a young age and a good management from the beginning in the use of the telephone and the networks, making clear the dangers that they may face.
2. Agreements around social networks
Make a series of agreements on the management of the cell phone and social networks in which you can agree, that if they are responsible by following them, it will not be necessary to invade their space or privacy.
3. More confidence
Create a climate of trust and support that allows them to approach you, when they are in difficulties.
4. Get to know him
Get to know their friends and the places they hang out.
If you think something may be happening and you need to find out:
- Ask him: Sometimes the easiest solution is in front of us; tell him that you're worried and whatever it is, he counts on you
- Go to the school to find out if they have noticed something strange
- Make sure you always know where it is
- Stay close, non-invasive
- Trust him
So to the question of whether we should violate the privacy of our children to 'protect' them, the ideal answer is NO. There are many other things we can do to protect them, first to prevent them from getting into trouble and then to detect if there is a problem occurring.
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