Assertiveness is that complex balance between saying what you think (without resorting to a submissive attitude) and saying it in a way that does not harm others. The right means, which is also a great virtue. Being assertive is a necessary learning during childhood. If a child develops assertiveness, he will have a great ability to solve problems peacefully and interact with others without so much conflict.
We give you some great tips for getting a child assertive and know how to communicate your emotions peacefully.
It is true that there are children who are afraid when it comes to communicating what they think. These children prefer to keep quiet and do what others say, before creating a conflict by expressing an opinion contrary to that of others.
Far from supporting this decision, we should encourage children to speak their minds, without fear of what others will say or that your idea will not be well received by the rest. However, there are many ways to communicate this idea. If your child is able to express his opinions in a way that does not hurt others, he is being assertive.
The Doctor of Education Juan Lucas Onieva He proposes us to carry out two activities with the children to promote assertiveness and help them express their opinions in an assertive way:
- List of negative thoughts versus positive thoughts. Help your child write a list of situations in which your child feels self-conscious or feels bad. Once he is finished, he will have to write the opposite sentences, positive and that grant him certain rights that he was denying himself. For example: if your child writes 'I do not propose any games at recess in case no one wants to play', next to it he should write 'I have the right to propose games at recess like everyone else, even if later nobody wants to play'. or in the case of writing: 'I prefer not to participate in class in case I am wrong', next to it you should write 'I have to participate in class even if I am wrong because nothing happens'. Or in the case of writing: I prefer to let everyone pass before ', next to it you must write' I have the right to be the first from time to time '.
- Things we give in without agreeing. This activity consists of thinking about those occasions when we give in because we think that this way we make other people happy. But we rarely think: 'How do we feel?' Help your child think of himself whenever he gives in for the good of another. Ask him how he feels and if he is really willing to sacrifice.
Assertiveness is also closely related to the child's confidence in himself. Improve your self-esteem and confidence and you will notice how your child loses the fear of speaking in public, of expressing his opinions and suddenly prefers to assert himself before others, no matter what they think. The next step will be to make him see that he can always express his opinions pro trying not to hurt others.
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